My sister-in-law, who is 32 and single with two kids, lives in my home for free. My husband and I found ourselves taking her in after her ex kicked her out for doing nothing. My husband promised me that his sister would help out around the house and be useful since she couldn’t afford to pay any rent because she only waited tables for a living.
Five months have passed, and she’s still living in our home. I help her kids with their homework, take them to school, and pick them up when I pick my kids up. I find myself even taking them out when I take our own two children out.
My husband and I began arguing about the situation because I seemed to have to do everything with her kids that I do for my own kids.
On Saturdays, I normally take my kids to the mall for shopping, food, and ice cream. And in the beginning, I thought it was polite to bring along my sister-in-law’s kids. I thought it was nice to have my kids spend time with their cousins.
It got out of hand one Saturday when my SIL heard me mention to my husband that I would be taking the kids to the mall later on that same day. As I was getting my kids ready, she brought them to me and said that they were ready to go to the mall with me. But I don’t remember inviting them. I just wanted to spend the day with my kids.
I asked my husband to speak to his sister about this behaviour, but he said that I was overreacting and I should just take his sister’s kids out too.
Keep in mind that my kids and hers have been raised very differently.
While I may sound like a b*tch, my kids were taught to always say ‘please’ while hers never asked. They stated that they wanted this or that. And I don’t want her kids to influence mine with that sort of behaviour.
But my husband keeps telling me, “they’re just kids, and that’s how kids normally act.”
Well, I completely f#$king disagree. While my SIL’s kids are not perfect, mine aren’t either, because they can be brats sometimes too. And it takes a village to raise a child.
My kids have been adapting to some bad habits and it’s all because of my SIL.
Apart from my SIL not paying rent and helping out in the house with cleaning or cooking, she hasn’t been spending time with her own kids because she parties a lot. One Friday night of the month, my girl friends and I always do something together and last Friday, we decided to host a poker night at my friend Lana’s house. Everyone had to bring something to eat or drink and we all got to bring our kids since they were all in the same age group between 9 and 14. Here is where it all went wrong. My sister-in-law asked if I could watch her kids that night since she wanted to go out.
I said, “no, I am busy.”
She asked, “with what?”
I said, “my friend Lana is hosting a poker night and me and the kids will be spending the evening there and won’t be back until later.”
My SIL then said, “well, that’s perfect. Since yours is going, you can take mine too, and all the kids can hang out together.”
I declined her suggestion and she got mad. She called me selfish and said I was making a big deal about things and didn’t understand why I wouldn’t want to bring her kids along to hang out with my kids and my friend’s kids. I pointed out the importance of maintaining boundaries in the house and respecting each other’s plans. However, my SIL remained upset and continued to argue that I was being unreasonable.
My husband took my SIL’s side in the matter and he told me to just suck it up and bring his niece and nephew along, saying that it wasn’t a big deal. I tried to explain to my husband that it was important for me to have some time with my friends and their kids without the added responsibility of looking after his niece and nephew.
But my husband was unable to see my point of view and insisted that I should comply with his sister’s wishes. This disagreement left me feeling frustrated and unheard about the situation. While my SIL was out partying and my husband was working late that night, I took matters into my own hands and tossed my SIL’s things out on the front lawn. I called her ex to pick up the kids while she was out partying. It was either the ex or child protective services. Am I in the wrong?